For a long time, I’ve been thinking why I had pursued the niche path to financial independence.
Since I started working 12 years back, I’ve been trying to push aggressively my agenda for financial independence.
I scrimped, saved and invest really hard for years just to try and get out of the rat race so that I can finally breathe some slow pace of air outside.
Not many people chose the same path as I did.
The millennials of today chose jobs that seems like they are enjoying it very much. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel envy right there.
It appears to me that my reason for deciding to go for financial independence may have been biased and skewed right from the start.
But for exactly that reason, I am able to achieve the outcome that I have achieved today.
In the past recent weeks, I have been tasked to work tirelessly non-stop even while at home.
Weekdays and public holidays were blurred as I had to log in to my computer to clear my incoming emails during weekends and public holidays that I can’t seem to clear while working on weekdays.
On some days, I felt so exhausted that a part of me feels like giving up.
One of my equivalent peers that were based in Malaysia resigned two weeks ago.
Instead of finding a replacement, my direct boss and hr conveniently slotted me in for the role and then send out an introductory email to everyone to congratulate me for taking up a step role.
A few people came to congratulate me and I just texted back a brief thank you in reply.
The inside of me was fuming, thinking hard why I deserved a congratulatory message in the first place – double the work, same income (or maybe including a potential paycut). That’s not really something that’s worth congratulatory for me.
I understand that during this period everyone was toughing it out and many businesses were trying to reduce their overhead, hence for this reason I have remained quiet for now.
But still I don’t think I had it happy taking it up like this.
My coverage increased by double, meeting and conference can stretch up to 2 to 3 hours a day and the endless tasks coming in from both countries that I am handling. All this means lesser time to spend with my families and rest. In fact, I had not dined in with my children for a while now for both lunch and dinner, and this is considering we are all at home together!
As an introvert, I don’t usually voice my unhappiness during the one on one session with my direct boss. As an introvert, neither do I enjoy endless meetings and phone calls because it tires me out.
Most of my tasks require analysis and time alone to work on my spreadsheet so it requires plenty of concentration time to be alone.
This is probably the reason why I don’t seem to enjoy working for the most part of my life.
Because work is something which typically drags from time to time and I become unhappy when it started to take away time for me to rest and spend time with my families.
I wrote this post not as an avenue to complain but rather this has been my only avenue channel to freely voice out my real thoughts and to relieve me from the pressure I had.
Some day, perhaps, I can truly enjoy doing what I do for the most remainder part of my working life.
Financial independence had a price and I continue paying that price for now.
How much are you paying for financial independence?
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